Thursday, April 29, 2010

Snap Crackle Pop - the sounds of rec hockey



Throughout February and March I have struggled with another case of gout in my toe. It has happened frequently enough that it may not be gout at all but an effect of my arthritis. It has been feeling better so I started playing hockey again - it hurt to put my foot in the skate but it was too bad once I got going.

Last Wednesday was our first playoff game and I wasn't going to miss that! We won it, but about half way through the second period I turned to go from skating backwards to forwards and as I did that me toe popped.

Anybody that knows gout knows that this is a final step as the uric acid leaves the joint. Unfortunately as this happened I fell -my foot was busy planning a farewell trip for the uric crystals and was no longer interested in supporting my weight. When I fell I landed on my hip and ribs with the final coup de gras (which I think is French for cup of fat) of crashing into the endboards.

I stayed down for a few seconds and then made my way triumphantly to the bench - the beautiful thing of being 6'3" and (somewhere north of) 230lbs is that I became a very large pylon in the process and broke up the play.

Part of growing older is that I no longer say things like "That'll hurt in the morning" because those kinds of bumps start to hurt immediately. I was winded; my hip hurt; my back was sore; and my ribs were throbbing. I went into the dressing room threw a little water in my face, rubbed some dirt on it and went back out to the bench. I finished the game and spent the next few days walking with all of the grace that Warren Sapp dances with (my wife makes me watch Dancing with the Stars). I started wearing my high performance / way too tight athletic compression shirts as undergarments and was feeling better.

On Monday we had our first game of the league finals and if there was ever a time that pro scouts would be at the rink to watch 6:30am rec hockey this was the time. I froze up my rib cage with the handy dandy medicated spray and took off to the rink. It was a good thing I showed up because we were short on guys. During warm up I was really pleased with my back and was astounded at how great it felt to skate without my toe swelling up.

During my second or third shift I felt everything kind of pop as I skated. Somewhere along the way I cracked a rib (ribs). I did finish the game but I was in considerable pain. My doctor was pretty sure I fractured a rib and then phoned after looking at the x-rays to say it was a crack or possibly a deep bruising.

Last night I was feeling better and when I started crawling into bed I felt my rib cage agree to disagree on whether it was going to stay up in the air or join the rest of my body in the reclining position. But before it came to this conclusion it made a horrific snap, crackle and pop (I will never eat Rice Crispies the same again). My wife asked me which kids' toy I stepped on? She described the sound as being like the cracking of a plastic/wood toy followed by the sound of bubble wrap being stepped on, followed by a manly but very audible shriek (okay I added the manly part).

Today I am just trying to let it all settle back into place. I start teaching the Applied Linguistics courses on Monday and I want to be on my best. Currently every time I sneeze, cough or laugh I am like a sufferer of Tourret's Syndrome with an Anger Management problem!

Migwec,
Ehkosit!

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