Rockin' da Fuzzy Ulu

I grow facial hair as a cost effective solution for my lack of a flesh and bone chin - a prothsetic chin of sorts. That being said I am not the most prolific beard growers ever to stride the earth. I usually blame my Asian ancestry for that but that solution is at odds with my tremendous ability to grow hair on my back and shoulders (and increasingly my ears). I think that Karl Popper would have problems with my solution because it contradicts other observations...I'd look up his technical term for it, but my books are at the college office. Anyhoo

I have spent most of my adult life with some form of chin spaghetti ranging from the traditional goatee to the moustache-less goatee to the racing stripe (I started shaving away the sections with grey in them - no longer a viable option) and I now have stumbled across my latest bold move in the psuedo-prosthetic maxillary coiffures is a little something I call "The Ulu".

It is an homage (please pronounce that as OH-maj) to my Aboriginal upbringing and the time I spent in the North. Inuit a special knife that is a multi-purpose cutter, dicer, skinner and all-round world's greatest pizza cutter.

So if the tabloids start to recognize this new trend in Hollywood A-listers you can say you saw it here first...

Migwec,

Ehkosit!

My whine poureth over my cup...

Well the gout is receding and you would think I would be happy. HA - obviously you don't know me. Now all I can think of is the shooting pain in my calf. After a week of walking on a bent leg the muscle cramp is so intense I will sign on to any petition that would ban high heel shoes!!

BTW just as a word of warning, make sure you have safe or moderate search on if you google "fat guy in high heels" YYYIIIIKKKKEEESSSssssssss that coulda been bad - sometimes you just click search and then realize that the internet has quite a collection of curiosities. (luckily I leave my set on moderate so I was okay, but I'm just sayin....that coulda been nasty - even the clean search was disturbing)

Home Gout Kit

I woke up two days ago with an extremely stiff knee and as soon as I put weight on my leg I knew I was being paid a visit by "My Old Friend the Gout" (reader can choose to hum along to the Steve Earle or Proclaimers version of the song). I can't put my finger on where it came from. I haven't eaten much red meat, my last glass of red wine was about six years ago (for a wedding toast) and I have been drinking a lot of water.

Gout is one of the most debilitating aspects of my arthritis - you can't walk on it (it hurts) you can't sit (it swells) you can't just lie there (it stiffens). About all you can do is drink lots of water and cherry juice and wait and wait and wait. It has always just affected by feet (usually my left big toe) so it was kinda different to watch my knee swell up and take on all of the joy that is a gout attack.

If you are wondering what it is like, I have the recipe for a Gout Simulation Kit that you can assemble with items from around the house, mostly. The first thing to do is go to a sport supply store and get the liquid heat in the pure form (normally you would dilute it but that wouldn't give the burning red glowing effect of gout). Next take an old picture frame and remove the glass; shatter the glass and collect it in a sock. Now place the sock on your red, burning foot. Find a shoe that is at least a size too smal and jam your foot in. Tighten up your shoe so that even if you don't walk on it the slightest movement will cause the glass shards to cut into you feet. Finally, carry a roofing hammer with you at all times and everytime you brush up against something or someone comes in contact with your foot (or even looks like they might come in contact with your foot) wind up and deal a crushing blow to the joint on you big toe (always hit the same toe and even the same joint to make the most authentic re-creation). Of course walking means that your foot comes in contact with the ground at every step so it may be more convenient to carry a golf club so you don't have to bend over to strike your foot.

The best way to speed up the healing process is to drink massive amounts of water and cherry juice to flush out the uric acid that has crystalized in your joint - so that means that you will be walking to the bathroom constantly for next few days (don't forget to take your hammer).

I am beginning to see why old men get so grumpy - after a couple of days of gout I am ready to snap at anybody in a three foot radius of me and my enflamed joints!!

Mike Frost and Matching Sweaters

Here are a couple of sketches I did the other week. The top one is Mike Frost - a writer, pastor, speaker that was the keynote at the Church Planting Congress this year in Calgary. The other is just a couple walking their dog and sporting matching sweaters. I was thinking of doodling their dog with a matching sweater as well, but the cutesie-pie quotient would be far too high (and I know because I'm taking a stats class right now and could crunc that through a Chi-Square test to quantify it if you want).

Organic Church Planting in my "Tribe"

I hate the way people from my denomination refer to themselves as a tribe. I don't know why, but it drives me nuts. Maybe its a holdover from my degree in anthropology and the realization that they use the term improperly. Maybe should be referring to ourselves as a moiety or possibly a coterie...anyways those would start to bug me too. I guess I just have a bad attitude.

Another thing that drives me nuts is that we have all the window dressing of being a powerhouse in the area of church planting and yet we struggle to have any real success on the ground. And I don't mean success as I define it, I mean spread the tent wide with your definition of success and still see if you can find many happy campers inside it. I think we all have small victories here and there but there is a considerable amount of frustration and even anger amongst our ranks of church planters. Its too bad because my pack (flock, herd, horde, throng...just trying out some new terms) is exactly where I want to be - on paper our theology, ecclessiology and missiology line up - and it has a strong history. We lose way too many young leaders because we don't know how to encourage and enfold risk-takers. A glorious past is often the enemy of a triumphant future.

Anyways, my days of going on rants or tirades to ears that don't hear are a thing of the past. Instead I once again dipped into the acerbic well of my ink!!

BTW on a technical side I have became fascinated with using fountain pens and brushes in my sketching - maybe I will post some less acrimonious drawings in the next little bit.

Life and Lemons

I had a particularly bad day a while back. With a day full of deadlines I had my truck go kaput and wound up sitting in the University parking lot waiting for a tow-truck! It gave me time to do a little doodling based on the theme of "When life gives you lemons you just make lemonade!"