Today I turned 39. I spent the day doing the usual tasks - getting the kids off to school and then up to the college office to get a dent put into the phone calls and emails that were missed while I was in Philly. I also wanted to get caught up on some reading of journal articles - it doesn't take long to get behind.
I ran across some books on leadership that I bought a years ago. It hit me, as I read over the margin notes, that I really believed I was going to make a difference. I really believed I was the 'bottle rocket and pepper pot' that my thesis advisor described me as.
Reality has an ironic way of pimp-slapping your life and it was kind of sad to come home and have to sort through the loose change container in my office to scrape up the $12 needed to pay for my birthday meal. I resolved myself to the reality that I was drastically changing the trajectory of my life when I stepped away from academics and consulting but that was a bit much! Fortunately my wife found the discount bin CDs I had misplaced so there was a gift for me.
I shouldn't be so mopey - the kids got me a football game for my birthday so we can play against each other. On a side note they played it all last week so they would be sure to beat me when we play!
Maybe its just realizing that I only have one year left to make it on one of those "Top 40 under 40" type lists and my career seems to have started into a screaming descent that would make a Stukka dive bomber pilot sweat rather than building to the planned crescendo. [okay that may be a bit drastic but there is some dissonance between where I want the church to be and where it is organizationally]
Maybe a good night's sleep is all I need. As Tony, my driver from the Philadelphia Airport, would say in his made-for-TV Italian accent "Whatevs...dats craze...fuggetabowdit!"
Migwec,
Ehkosit
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